Thursday, July 7, 2016

The Part Where I Start Over

The best things are new and fresh. Babies, for one. The sky, after a glorious rain. Bread, fresh from the oven after starting its life as flour.

And blogs, when you feel like you need a new start.

So here I am! Starting over with a blank slate. Or maybe just taking a new step in the already established journey.

For those of you that don't know, I used to blog over at Little Bit Of Life. And then life felt like it became not so little.

It's funny how life can seem so over-complicated when not many things have changed. Or they just change so subtly that you don't notice until you're already speeding along the rails, not sure where you're going to end up. And then you realize you don't like this speeding train, and you want off the ride.

Over the past few years, as I've added a handmade business and life has happened in crazy ways, I feel like I lost myself. Not who I was or what made me. But I lost the practice of being myself. I let busy and complicated take over and I stopped doing the things I loved because LIFE, and it all came to a head a few weeks ago when I realized that (as angsty teenager as this sounds) I hated everything. Everything. I was sick of my business that I spent the last three years building and how complicated it had become. I was sick of not being able to keep up with my house. I was sick of being pulled in what seemed like a billion directions.

I was sick, I realized, of being busy.

I've spent the past 10 years trying to create a simple, beautiful, intentional life and here I was in the midst of insane busyness without even realizing how I got here.

So what does one do when you're nearly 30 and can't stand half of the world around you? You start over.

No, I'm not leaving the life I know and traveling the world. I haven't gone through some amazing transformation. I'm actually not moving forward at all.

I'm going backwards. To the things I love, the things that give me peace. The things that make me, me. Slowing down, being in the kitchen, growing food, playing with yarn and being crafty,  creating an intentional space for my family, raising animals, homesteading.

I've taken the past week off of work to recenter, refocus, and find myself again. I've been reading, and knitting, and playing with my kids. I've baked Bread and watched my Chickens. I've let life be simple again.

And it's been so gloriously refreshing that I know I'm on the right track. Here's to starting over.

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad when you write down what you have been feeling. I am also proud of you that you can realize where you have been and where you want to go.
    Welcome Home! A new home.